I am DEVASTATED + Cry Baby part two


Hello everyone!

How you doin'? I'm bringing back some Joey Tribbiani vibes ;) because I hope that will cheer me up a bit. I am pretty devastated at the moment... Okay, let me explain. In a previous blogpost I was talking about leaving Facebook for a while because I was checking it before I went to sleep EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. And because of that my biorhythm went out of control. It became like a routine I had to follow before I went to sleep.. It is pathetic, I know. The first couple of months I did not go on Facebook, but in February I went on Facebook once a week during daytime. In the following months my time on Facebook increased. I did not feel the need to check it daily or hourly. That was a huge relieve for me! Okay, since you have the backstory I'll move on. A month ago, on Friday, I went on Instagram an saw that Melanie Martinez had an European tour planned and I was exited! SO I wanted to buy tickets immediately. I went on her site and it was SOLD OUT... I mentally cursed myself.. That's when I decided to go on Melanie's Facebook page to check for some news. On Thursday (a day before she announced it on Instagram), she posted the time on freakin' Facebook for when her tickets would go on sale... It hurt pretty bad and I was like 'Well, not going on Facebook bit me in the **s'... I also read that the tickets were sold out in about an hour 0.0 I was not aware of how many Dutch people liked her. Okay, I got over it eventually and I hope I will be able to go to her next concert.    
It is time to continue with the album review! I hope you thoroughly enjoyed my previous blog about the first four songs of the 'Cry baby' album. Without any further ado, here are songs four to eight!

'I'm not a little kid now
Watch me get big now
Spell my name on the fridge now
With all your alphabet toys
You won the spelling bee now,
But are you smarter than me now?
You're the prince of the playground,
Little alphabet boy'.

This song goes out to all the people who did not believe in you or who crushed your self esteem. Unfortunately, we have a lot of those people walking on earth and 'Cry baby' a.k.a. Melanie met one. He only gave her compliments only to take her down. Those people are the worst kind you could ever meet, in my opinion. In my first year of college I was in a project group where there was one girl who called all the shots and when I came up with something she shot me down. This happened pretty often and I started to say less and less, because I already knew what would happen. Of course she noticed that I barely said anything and confronted me about it and said on multiple occasions that I should 'talk more'. This was very discouraging and put me under a lot of pressure.. That experience made me very insecure... Fortunately, I have grown a lot during those two years but it will be difficult to get rid off all the insecurities. And in my opinion insecurity is an inevitable feeling, everybody has had an experience with it. It depends on you as a person how you go handle yourself during and after such an occasion. Wow... That was a long story, but I wanted to explain to you guys what kind of feeling this song is giving me when I listen to it.


'I feel it coming out my throat
Guess I better wash my mouth out with soap
God, I wish I never spoke
Now I gotta wash my mouth out with soap'. 

Before I say anything about this song I would like to address that the video clip is very.... ehm dark. So keep that in mind if you are going to watch it! I think that this song is about having an internal struggle when it comes to speaking your mind and-/ or you regret what you have said. I am a person who does not (like to) talk a lot. I am more of an observer or listener. In the meantime I observe or listen, my brain works overtime. I am trying to figure out the people I am with. After I get to know you better I will talk about more things that keep my mind busy. But before that I need to know what kind of person you are and if I can trust you. If I don't trust you then I would barely talk to you and by that I mean that I would only have formal chats with you and tell you as little as possible about myself. In the past I have shared a lot of my life with 'friends' who turned out to be backstabbers. And I don't want that anymore, so I'm taking precaution for my feelings.  
Going back to the song again! Cry baby also talks about the word love and that she never should have said it. I think that that is the main reason for the existence of this song. But you can interpret it however you want it of course!

'Letting go, letting go
Telling you things you already know
I explode, I explode
Asking you where you want us to go
You've been riding two-wheelers all your life
It's not like I'm asking to be your wife
I wanna make you mine, but that's hard to say
Is this coming off in a cheesy way?'

The meaning behind this song was pretty easy to figure out. Cry Baby is talking about taking her relationship to the next level. But the way she describes it, is amazing. Cry Baby is trying to sketch a broader picture about sex but without explicitly talking about sex. She is using a lot of metaphors, which I love because you can interpret it however you want! For the innocent ones with us, you can take it literally. And for the less innocent ones with us, let your brain do the overtime ;).  
Let's talk about the videoclip for a bit. Cry Baby looks lovely, as always. In the videoclip she literally uses a bicycle. At first, Cry Baby sees the guy as a foreign species. But once she got to know him and when he helps her practice with the bike, I feel like she opens up to him, has more fun with him and rides (his) bike(s) ;). Yes, guys my pun was intended!        

"Did my invitations disappear?
Why'd I put my heart on every cursive letter?
Tell me why the hell no one is here
Tell me what to do to make it all feel better".

This song is EVERYTHING! Have you ever felt like having a pity party with a temper tantrum? I actually have one every now and then, but without the 'party' side and without the temper tantrum. I find crying quite relaxing in a sense. It is like an outlet for all the negative emotions. When I cry, I cry a lot. Until I can't cry anymore and then I will move on, because I don't want to wallow in self pity for like months or even years. Which means I have to make changes and sacrifices. Those thing are not easy, let me tell you that... But in the end you are making those changes for yourself, for your own well being so that is a plus in my book! 
Okay, back to the song. Cry Baby invited a couple of kids to her party. She wrote beautiful invitations and send them out. On the day of her party, no one shows up. Cry Baby wonders why no one is at her party. So her actual party turns in to a pity party for herself. Which is actually a pretty cool spin to the story. Why wait for others, who can't be bothered to make time for you? You just have to shake it of, have a pity party and come back stronger and happier than ever! 
And the videoclip is awesome too. The aesthetic is beautiful and it is visually appealing. I recommend watching it, I think you will understand my story better.       

I hope you enjoyed reading this piece! And I will talk to you guys in a bit!

xo Laxmi

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